Monday, December 10, 2007
Gloomy sunday.
I woke up feeling glum and unhappy. Or maybe I fell asleep feeling sad. Maybe I had dreams that I had forgotten through the night. No matter what, I dun like this feeling.
Don't you know love, when I am the irritating me who keeps bugging you about how insecure and unloved I'm feeling, I was holding the hope that things would get better. I was praying hard that you will understand my feelings and do something really soon.
When I became obliging and stopped all the bugging, It's not because I had felt better. It's because I was too heartbroken to say anything more, knowing the you will never try to understand or do anything to ease my fears and uncertainties.
No, I dun think you ever knew, do you? Because you were just too glad to be left in peace, finally, just too happy that I am no longer grouchy and naggy, as you thought so.
I tried, I really tried, to be a nice sweetie pie and all, knowing that my mood swing was getting too much. But why is it that we just cant be nice to each other at the same time. You asked, why is it that I just cant wait to be married happily. I asked myself, why dun I deserved to be a pampered and loved mum-to-be.
I'm hurting inside, madly, can you feel it, the baby is feeling it, he/she knew it, I think that's why he/she tried to make it better by saving me the morning sickness. I guess that's his/her way of loving me.
You said you love me, but I can no longer understand the way you love me. Make me understand. I really want to.
7:11 AM
